Visible Grief

J. Eik Diggs
1 min readJan 4, 2021


I didn’t want to watch Philando Castile die but by the time I realized what was happening, I had watched him die.⠀

I just can’t seem to unsee that.⠀

I only read what went down when Atatiana Jefferson was gunned down by Fort Worth police in her home as she played video games with her nephew.⠀

But for some reason I can’t unsee her murder either.⠀

I didn’t want to hear George Floyd cry out for his mother as he was suffocated to death under the weight of three Minneapolis cops, but I was too slow to the mute button.⠀

And now I’m having the hardest time unhearing that.⠀

Many of my white family and friends uttered ear-piercing silences following his murder but uproar after Target and Cub Foods were broken into.⠀

Those are two more things I won’t be able to unhear.⠀

There is never a convenient time for grief to make itself visible.⠀

When it does it breaks glass and skin. It starts fires. It destroys city blocks.⠀

Sooner or later that which can’t be unseen or unheard bleeds from memories, clenches fists and forces guttural cries through praying lips.



J. Eik Diggs

queer TRA and educator who writes and scholars